I've never told anyone my story......

by Mara
(Fresno, CA.)

This is scary for me, and I don't know what will happen. But here is my testimony. My name is Mara L. A. and I was born on August 8th of 1991. I am only 19 years old but my spirit is well beyond me in years. I was raised by my mother and father for the first 10 years of my life.... in that time I received 2 baby brothers (Dustin and Joel).

I love my mommy dearly and she is the only spouse I claim to have left. She was an awesome hardworking, church going mom, who got sucked in by an alcoholic abuser of all kinds. I was raised in church. let me reiterate... I WAS RAISED IN CHURCH.... but this did not save me from the clutches of satan.

HE STOLE MY INNOCENCE!! Though I didn't know at the time. satan attacks me constantly and I don't know why, but I know that my Father in heaven is greater than any force of darkness. Anyways.... I was a normal kid until 1st grade, then my earthly dad decided it was OK to abuse me not only physically, mentally, verbally, and emotionally.... but also sexually.

This lasted about 9 years (the emotional and verbal never stopped), most of which I was in church. He also abused me and my mother the most, I don't know why it happened to me.... and I was relieved when it stopped. I was 14 and I stood up for myself FINALLY and said NO!!!! Not anymore.

I didn't tell anyone, but I stopped visiting for the weekends, and he seemed to hate me even more now. He's always hated me. Well satan has through him. I stopped thinking about and tried to get on with my life.... I started hanging out with friends, and finally living, or so I thought. I was smoking weed, cigarettes daily and meth occasionally on top of drinking.

I was only 15 when I started this acting out stuff (about 9 when I picked up my first cigarette)... one year after I was finally released from satan to be a child.... I had hateful and jealous friends who always put me down and made me feel like nothing.... satan was still at it.... I realize it's only because they were jealous...

I met my 1st "love" and lost my V to him. I even got pregnant at the age of 16. Yea all that crap happen in 2 years. The baby died 5 months into the pregnancy and the drinking and smoking weed started again.(not meth) When I was 17 I met The god given love of my life and we are together still. We met and neither of us claimed to believe in god.

Satan still had a hold on me, and now both of us.... Things were great for the first WEEK.... but that was it... He hurt me bad, and in return he lost my trust, yet I stayed with him. I was jealous and crazy, he wasn't allowed to talk to girls, he wasn't allowed to do anything with out my approval..... he had anger problems, so as you can guess this didn't go very well

Eventually he started abusing me not only verbally and emotionally, but yep... physically..... things got so bad.... I shaved my head and attempted suicide a number of times.... I hated life and the world for all it had done to me. I wanted no part in it.

Then one day we met a man named god who was the very first person to tell me that god loved me..... not after I repent... but right now.... for who I am.... and he is sorry for all that happened to me..... he wishes he could take it back.... And I cried and cried and cried and cried and am crying now.

At that moment for the first time I felt like I was home..... in a spiritual sense. I was kidnapped (spiritually) when I was a child, but God found me, he remembered all the prayers from my childhood of begging to be saved. He remembered me and he loves me so much more than I can imagine. For about a year and a half now I've been home and I'm just now getting comfortable.

I want to thank you sooooo, sooooo much, for caring enough to ask me to share this.... thank you for starting this website and god bless....

Dear Mara - I so deeply appreciate hearing how God has touched your life, for His glory and I truly thank you too for allowing me to publish your testimony! Also, one more thing...

...God says in Jeremiah 31:3, Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.

Tom - from howtotouchgod.com